Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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