apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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