Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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