this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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