I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
