Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
