I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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