I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize