no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
