So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
