So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize