i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
