When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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