I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
