brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
