Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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