when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
