the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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