She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
