John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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