did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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