the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
