you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
