i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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