hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
