My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
