ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
