Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
