Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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