this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
