I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
