i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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