I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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