im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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