Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
