Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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