Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
