just tell him i said nine months
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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