one might say we're banned from that church
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize