I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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