He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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