I just made out with a guy for $7.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
