I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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