how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
