The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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