that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
