There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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