You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
