an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
