I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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