the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
