We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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