Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
