You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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