i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
