would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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