i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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