Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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