so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
