I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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