She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
