the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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