you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
