If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
