I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
