my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
