last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
