But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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